


Three Sunnies AU part 2: Three, two, one! We're always having fun

by Theweirdslingshot



Series: Three Sunnies AU [2]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Gen, Other, Rugrats but arson, babies comitting crimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23234797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theweirdslingshot/pseuds/Theweirdslingshot
Relationships: Count Olaf/Esmé Squalor, Isadora Quagmire/Carmelita Spats, Sunny Baudelaire & Suzy Baudelaire & Sally Baudelaire
Series: Three Sunnies AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606726
Comments: 15
Kudos: 5





	1. Off to Boarding School

The Baudelaire triplets had been with Kit Snicket for about a week now.  
They liked it there. Kit could never replace their parents, but she was keeping them safe. They hoped, atleast. Because of their young age, people seemed to take advantage of them. Kit didn't seem to take advantage of them, but you never know.

Suzy was sitting under the table in the kitchen and picked all the crumbles who fell down from the cookies that Kit helped Sally make. Sunny on the other hand sat in a highchair.

"I only have one highchair." Kit said, "That's because the highchair is for one special baby who haven't arrived yet."  
"Wheresit?" Sunny asked.

Kit smiled. "The baby is inside my belly."

The three toddlers looked at her with wonder in their eyes. How could a baby be inside her belly?

"Unbelievable." Suzy said, which meant "There's no way a baby can be inside someone. That's against the law of physics! That's witchcraft!"

Kit just laughed. "All people in the world has been inside their mothers bellies before they came out in the world."  
"No way!" Sally exclaimed.  
"How?" Sunny asked.

Kit smirked a bit. "Well, you're so young, so i'll probably won't tell you much."  
"Tell!" Sunny ordered. "Tell!"  
"Well... I know it's good to tell children early on so they don't become clueless and far too innocent people later, but you three are... too small."

"Whatif?" Sally asked, which in this case meant "What if we end up with a baby in our bellies because you didn't tell us?"  
"Oh, children." Kit said, "You three can't get babies in your bellies yet. Not until you're much older."  
"Howold?" Sunny asked.  
"Around the years of 11-13." Kit explained, "But it can happen sooner, or it can happen later."

The triplets looked at her confused.

"You get to know more the older you get." Kit said.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Kit left the girls in the kitchen to eat the cookie dough. While they ate, they listened to what she said on the phone.

"Hello?" Kit said. "K.S, that's right. Yes, who's asking? Can you prove that? Okay, yes, I will interrogate you. What's the difference between a raven and a writing desk? Yes, ok, thank god it's you. You never know who tries to disguise themselves as- what? I do have them at my house. Olaf won't come here. He wouldn't dare to come to my house. It's already been a week, and besides, I changed my adress unknowingly to him. We, uh... had a meeting a couple of months ago and I may or may not... forget it. What did you call me about? Uhuh...? Uh-huh... Oh, I don't know. What? That's- oh no, that's not good. I want to take the mission, but the triplets- what? Prufrock Preporatory school... they are too young to attend there. What do you mean 'they take them in anyway'? Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Kit talked back and forth some more with whoever was on the other end of the phone. Finally, she hung up and went back into the kitchen.

"Have you girls eaten all the cookie dough?" she asked.  
"Yup!" Sally giggled.

Kit sighed. "Well, it's going to be a fun diaper change later."

The next day, Kit put the triplets in the car.

"Girls..." she said, "Someone called me yesterday."  
"Volunteer?" Suzy asked.  
"Yes. They wanted me to go out on a mission."  
"Spy kids!" Sally cheered.

Kit giggled. "Not exactly. It'll be too dangerous for you. You three will instead be left off at a place called Prufrock Preporatory school."  
"Baby genius?" Sally asked, which meant "But we aren't old enough to attend school."  
"No, you're not old enough. But apparently, this school said they had a place for toddlers like you, although not in a classroom. I will follow you all the way to make sure nothing is wrong."

They drove into a place who looked very dismal. The grass was completely brown, the buildings were gray and gloomy and it didn't really look like an ideal place for a school.

Kit parked the car and helped the triplets out. She carried Sunny and Sally in each arms, while Suzy rode her back.

"Let's see... here's the administration building." she said. 

They stopped outside a door. Kit knocked on it carefully, and soon enough a tall, obese and grumpy man opened it. 

"What do you want?" he asked.  
"I'm Miss Snicket." Kit said, "I called yesterday. I'm here with the triplets I was dropping off here."  
"Delivery." Sunny commented, which meant "You're speaking like we are a package of something he ordered."  
"Oh, right." the man muttered, "Come on in."

Kit put the Baudelaires down, as she talked to the man.

"Well, I guess i'll say welcome to Prufrock." the man said, "I am Vice Principal Nero."  
"Where's the actual principal?" Kit asked.  
" _Where's the actual principal?_ Well, I don't know! No one has seen that guy for years."

Kit frowned a bit at Nero for imitating her, but she continued.

"So, another question. What will the girls do here? You said you had place for them, but not in a classroom. I don't want them to get hurt."  
" _I don't want them to get hurt, blah blah blah!_ " Nero mimicked. "These three girls will bring great help to this school. You see, they will be a punishment for students to babysit if they don't come to class in time."  
"You're saying these small kids will be used for a punishment?"  
"It'll be positive for them!" Nero argued, "The students will suffer, while these little... adorable girls will play around and have no responsibilities."  
"And what, if I may ask, will they do when no students will babysit them?"

Nero seemed to think hard. 

"We have a special room just for them with all the necessities."  
"May I see it?" Kit asked.  
" _May I see it?_ No, you may not! It's being cleaned at the moment."

Kit was quiet for a while.

"You can leave now." Nero said, "We will take care of the little miracles."

"Kit." Sunny said and looked up at her.

Kit bent down and kissed all three girls on the foreheads.  
"I'll come back as soon as I can." she said. "Take good care. And I-"  
"Miss Snicket, leave!" Nero said.

Kit sighed, and stood up. She smiled at the Baudelaires and left.

  
As soon as Kit left the room, Nero grinned at the three toddlers.

"Kit signed for you to get dorms, but I will not get any dorm rooms to incompetent toddlers. No, you three will sleep in an old shack outside."  
"No fair!" Suzy protested.  
" _No fair!_ " Nero mocked. "No, but that's how it is. Now, go to lunch. I don't care what you will do after that and I don't care what you do at all. The only ones responsible for you is whoever is babysitting you as a punishment."

He opened the door and ordered them to get out.

  
The cafeteria was easy to find, mostly because the Baudelaires were very good with locating food. Food was a special interest of theirs and one day they hoped to work with something related to it. As they walked in, there were lots and lots of students around, getting food and sitting down to eat.

"Copycat?" Sally asked, which meant "Shall we do the same thing as the older children do?"  
"Wobbly." Sunny sighed, which meant "I think you have to walk to get food properly."

Suzy suddenly got an idea.

"Teamwork!" she shrieked. Her sisters nodded, knowing exactly what to do.

Because of their young age, they really could share one big plate of food. So, all they had to do was sitting on each others shoulders and they would be as high as a five year old standing.

As the girls tried to get some food, some students further away were whispering about them.

"Are those the babies who arrived?"  
"Ew, babies at this school. I'm sure they smell like shit all the time."  
"To be honest, they are a bit clever to sit on each others shoulders."  
"Clever? They can't even walk! Would you like to babysit them?"  
"No..."  
"Ugh, I will never ever be late to class. I'll wake up an hour earlier just so I don't have to babysit them as a punishment for being late!"

Sunny, Suzy and Sally carefully got themselves over to the place where you got your food. Even though they sat on each other's shoulders, they were still shorter than most. Plus, holding a tray can be very hard.

A girl with red hair blocked the triplet's way. She stood with crossed arms.

"Miss?" Suzy asked, which meant "Can we help you?"  
"Hel?" Sally asked, which meant "Can you help us?"

The girl smirked. "Did you try to say 'help'`?"

Sally nodded.

"Aww, you can't even say words right! Little ones. I'll help you."

The girl then proceeded to lightly push Sunny, who was in the middle, so both she and Sally fell, dropping their tray.

"You're just some useless babies." the girl said. "You shouldn't eat in a place like this. I know where you should eat."

Some other children walked up behind her. They exchanged looks and hesitantly picked up the Bauddelaires.

They dragged them outside. The red haired girl opened a trash can, and the other children threw the Baudelaires inside.

"This is where you should eat! You're already filthy, so consider this a positive addition."

They then closed the trash can, leaving the confused babies inside.


	2. With a few good friends

The girls sat inside the trashcan in complete silence. They didn't know what to do, and what to say.

Suddenly, the lid was opened.

"Hey..." a voice said, "Don't bite us, girls... we're just getting you out of here."

One by one, the Baudelaires got lifted up from the trashcan and placed on the ground.

"Thankies." Suzy said. Then she looked up and saw who it was that helped them out. Those children, a boy and a girl they saw that night... with the fire.  
"Don't thank us." the girl said, "You can't be stuck in a trashcan. What kind of bullshit is that?"  
"Bullshit." Sunny repeated, and giggled.  
"Great work, Isadora." the boy said, "You made them swear."  
"Fuck!" Sunny shrieked.

The two children exchanged looks.

"Have we seen you before?" the girl, who was named Isadora asked.

The Baudelaires smiled.

"Fire?" Suzy suggested.  
"Fire?" Isadora repeated. "Yeah, me and Duncan experienced a fire- wait."  
"You don't think..." the boy, who was named Duncan, said.  
"Were you the babies making sounds?" the two children said together.  
"Probably." Sally shrugged.

Isadora and Duncan smiled.

"So we finally have a chance to get to know each other." Isadora said. "You see, I was late to my class this morning and as a punishment I was forced to babysit some babies that apparently arrived today. It was you!"  
"If not there was other babies around." Duncan shrugged  
"Duncan, why would there be other babies around? Do you think Prufrock just has a truck full of babies they drop off here?"  
"I don't know! This school is already very strange as it is!"

The two older children looked down on the Baudelaires.

"Anyways." Isadora said, "I'm going to babysit you three today."  
"And I will help, because I don't want to be alone without my sister." Duncan added. "She is the only one I have left, you see."  
"Brother?" Sunny asked, which meant "Didn't you have a brother, too?"

Duncan and Isadora exchanged looks.

"I don't know completely what you're saying." Isadora admitted, "But I think you said brother. Yes, we had a brother."  
"Quigley." Duncan added. "He... he died in the fire."  
"Sowwy." Sally said.  
"You don't have to be sorry..." Duncan said, "After all, we wouldn't have gotten out if it weren't for your animal sounds!"

The Baudelaires giggled.

"So." Isadora said, "Do I need any supplies or something when I babysit you?"

  
The girls brought the Quagmires (yes, I forgot to mention, Isadora and Duncan's surname was Quagmire) to the shack they barely took a look at before. They had just dropped the bag Kit packed for them before they went to lunch.

"Wow, you live here?" Isadora asked. "We were living here until yesterday. It's awful."  
"Yeah, you're not living here." Duncan decided.  
"Homeless?" Sally asked, which meant "Where are we supposed to sleep, then?"  
"I'm babysitting you today!" Isadora said, "So I will grab your bag here and lead you to where me and Duncan are sleeping!"  
"Broom's closet?" Suzy asked.

The two Quagmire triplets smirked.

"I'm happy to say it's not a broom's closet." Isadora said, "But an actual dorm room!"  
"We share a room because vice principal Nero thought both of us were boys." Duncan sighed.

Isadora looked down on the ground, and Duncan grabbed her hand.

"Anyway." Isadora said, "Come on."

And so, they moved to a new location on the school after just spending some minutes in the previous. The dorm rooms were really a big upgrade.

"So, what do you think?" Isadora said, as the girls were let inside the Quagmires room.  
"Comfy." Sunny commented, which was her way of saying "It looks like you can sleep in here in a decent amount."  
"Yeah, we think you should sleep here with us." Duncan said. "Of course, no one should know you're here, so you may get a less good sleeping spot."  
"Noprob." Suzy said, which meant "We are small and can squeeze into small spaces to sleep and hide."  
"Buh..." Sally said, "Why?"

The Quagmires didn't know what Sally said "why" to. It could mean "Why are you doing this for us?" or "Why are we sleeping here?" or "Why are any of us here instead of being somewhere else, like in a hotel getting massage?"  
They decided to answer it in a simple way.

"Because you're triplets." Duncan said. "We're triplets, too, even if there's only two of us. Triplets stick together. If someone is a triplet, always trust them-"  
"Okay, Duncan." Isadora giggled. "Also, i'm babysitting you this afternoon so you're my responsibility. Oh, shit, we forgot to ask! What's your names?"

The Baudelaire triplets grinned.

"Sunny."  
"Suzy."  
"Sally."

"Sunny, Suzy and Sally." Isadora said, "The three S:s."  
"And three Y's, too." Duncan added.  
"You know, Sunny, Suzy and Sally." Isadora said, "I feel like we will get along just fine. Now, what do you want to do? We have all afternoon."

  
The two sets of triplets didn't do very much that afternoon. Mostly, they walked and crawled around the school. The Quagmires tried to understand the young girls babytalk, and thought they would get the hang of it. Some students passed them and gave the Quagmires weirded out looks, as if they couldn't believe someone would be so happy to take care of babies.

At evening, it was time for Vice Principal Neros violin recidal.   
The Quagmires warned the Baudelaires beforehand about it. Apparently it would go on and on for several hours and was a horrible way to end a day. Sunny told them they had dealt with worse things, but they didn't quite understand her. Anyways, the five children sat next to each other in the back of the auditorium. As Duncan and Isadora helped lifting the Baudelaires up to sit on chairs, a certain someone started to pay attention to them.

"Why are you cakesniffers so nice to the babies?" a girl asked. Both sets of triplets turned around and saw the red-haired girl, who had tossed the Baudelaires in the trash before.  
"Carmelita Spats." Isadora said slowly. "Why do you talk to us?"

Carmelita Spats, who the Baudelaires now knew was the red-haired girl's name, just glared at Isadora quietly for a very, very long time.

"Carmelita?" Duncan asked carefully. Carmelita just continued to glare.

Sally suddenly thought of something she had heard a long time ago. One time their mother and father were out for a walk with them and saw two people staring at each other. Their mother said something to their father that made him giggle. Sally couldn't quite speak full sentences yet, but she tried. She took a deep breath and said it.

"Get a'woon!"

Duncan suddenly grinned. "Did she just say 'Get a room'?"  
"Did she refer to me and Carmie?" Isadora asked.  
"Don't dare calling me 'Carmie'!" Carmelita yelled.  
"Oh, now you're talking." Isadora smirked.

The Baudelaires turned around to each other.

"Whaz?" Sunny asked, which meant "What is happening?"  
"Preteens." Suzy shrugged, which in this case meant "It's something we will probably understand when we are big and cool like the Quagmire triplets."

"I don't talk to cakesniffers." Carmelita said to the Quagmires, and walked away.  
"Okay?" Isadora shrugged.  
"Isa..." Duncan whispered, "Since Sally told you to get a room, i'm wondering if she has seen something not even I have."  
"Shut up, bro." 

Sunny smiled as Isadora said that, and turned to Sally who sat next to her.

"Shutup bo!" she shrieked. Sally giggled.

  
The violin recidal really was long and boring, just like Duncan and Isadora had told them. The Baudelaires started to feel very tired, but tried their best to keep awake as they noticed all the big kids in the room managed to still be awake.

After it finally were over, the Quagmires decided to carry the Baudelaires out, as they easily could be stepped on in the dark by tired students. The Baudelaire triplets tried to object, but were too tired to really say anything. 

But as soon as they got to their dorm room, the Baudelaire triplets wanted to be a little more independent.

"I can't believe you managed to stay awake!" Isadora exclaimed, "Me and Duncan almost fell asleep multiple times!"  
"Do you need us to change you, by the way?" Duncan asked.

"Nah." Suzy said, helping Sunny to take off her shirt, while Sally was ready to help her put on her pyjamas.

The Quagmires stared at them.

"No, like, I mean..." Duncan said, "Changing you."

Sunny dug in the bag after some diapers. 

"Nohelp." she said, which meant "We can do it ourselves."

The Quagmires started to understand a bit more what they were trying to say, but they still thought this was a bad idea.

"You don't mean to tell us that you three can change your own diapers? Have you ever done that before?"  
"Barely." Sally shrugged, and tried to look for a place where there was enough space to change herself.  
"No, we will help you." Duncan said.  
"No!" the three Baudelaires protested.

Isadora looked at the girls with plead.

"Listen, I know you want to be independent. What do you say if... we let you dress yourselves for bed, but we help you with the diaper changes."  
"Please." Duncan added. "We don't want you to get rashes and stuff..."  
"Domy!" Sally said, which meant, "I can change myself, how hard can it be?"

She tried to get her diaper off, but didn't really know how to get it off. After a while of twisting and turning, she sighed.

"Helpie?" she asked.  
"Of course." Isadora said, and smiled.

  
After half an hour, all three Baudelaires had gotten themselves into their pyjamases. The Quagmires promised only to help them with the diaper changes, since the girls really wanted to show how independent they could be to their new friends, and got dressed all by themselves. It took a while, but they did it. And they were really proud about it.

Since the Baudelaires technically were not allowed in the dorm rooms, they had to be a bit hidden. Luckily, there was several places they could make themselves comfortable for the night. There were spare blankets and pillows in the closet lying in a box. Sunny, who was the shortest, decided to sleep in the box, making her own little bed in it. There was also a spare mattress under Duncan's bed, which Suzy and Sally decided to share. Isadora borrowed her pillow to Sally, as she claimed she could sleep without it. Suzy used the bag Kit had packed for them as a pillow, which was suprisingly comfortable.

Maybe living in Prufrock Preporatory School would be pretty nice.


	3. Carmelita the babysitter

The following days at Prufrock, not much happened. Isadora didn't get late to class any more time since the Baudelaires first day, but she and Duncan was just as happy to hang out with the toddlers all afternoon anyway. It seemed like no other student was getting late to class either. They guessed no one wanted to babysit three babies and came in time to class.

While Duncan and Isadora were in class, the Baudelaire girls had nothing to do, really. They usually crawled around the school to explore. Sometimes they crawled into the kitchen and helped cooking the food if they were allowed. Sometimes they practised standing. Sometimes they were in the dorms and practised changing themselves, since they wanted to prepare in case they ended up on the run or something.

They always came to lunch later. The Baudelaires had managed to carry their trays of food with their mouths, which made it easier for them to get some lunch.

"Howah?" Sunny asked as she sat down in the cafeteria. That meant "How was class, friendos?" and was a question she asked to the Quagmires every day. 

"Thanks for asking, Sunny-shine." Duncan replied. This was his personal nickname for Sunny. "My class was pretty boring as usual, but it was worth it so I could eat lunch here with you three, and my sister."

"My class was also very tedious." Isadora said. "I'm glad to spend the afternoon with people I like."

"Too bad for you, cakesniffer." 

Everyone looked around to see Carmelita awkwardly stand in front of them.

"I was late for class today." Carmelita pouted, "Even if I told mr. Remora I was too cute for any punishments he said that I had to babysit these cakesniffing orphans either way."

"Fun." Suzy said, but she didn't think it was fun at all.

"So I guess I have to ask you how to do it." Carmelita said. "Since you two don't seem to have any actual friends and just hang out with these three gremlins."

Duncan and Isadora exchanged looks.

"Sure, we won't leave the Baudelaire triplets side anyway." Isadora said. "Any student could've babysitten them and we would still follow them."

"Yep." Sunny said, which meant "They come in the package when you rent the Prufrock Edition of the Baudelaire triplets."

"Okay, then." Carmelita said, and proceeded to awkwardly stare at them for a few seconds. "What shall I do first?"

Isadora looked at the Baudelaire girls, and smirked.

"Well, it's those three you will babysit. Hence, they will do whatever they please and you're in charge of them."

"So I just have to make sure they don't die? Yeah, I can do that."

"And you gotta help them when they need help." Duncan said. "They are pretty strong and independent, but they also can't walk and need assistance with a lot, too."

Carmelita seemed a bit disgusted, but sighed. Sunny, Suzy and Sally looked at her with happy grins.

"Oh boy, this is going to be good." Isadora said.

  
They got outside. Carmelita was a bit unsure what do say, or what to do.

"So..." she said slowly, "What do you wanna do?"   
"Libah!" Suzy shrieked. This meant "I want to go to the library!"

The Quagmires translated what she was saying.

"How do you know that's what she's saying?" Carmelita asked.

"When you spend all your time hanging out with three babies you learn to understand them." Duncan explained.

"Plus, she's literally pointing at the library." Isadora said.

Carmelita groaned. "I don't like the library. It smells weird in there."

"Well, too bad." Isadora said. "Would you rather deal with three crying babies?"

She smirked at the Baudelaires, who slowly started to fake-cry.

Carmelita covered her ears. "Okay, okay! We'll go to the fu- the library!"

"Yay!" Suzy cheered.

  
While in the library, the Baudelaire triplets crawled around and obtained some books. Sunny crawled up to Carmelita and held a cover of "The children of the noisy village".

"Read!" she demanded.

"Why should I read?" Carmelita asked. "It's you who wanted to go here."

"Read!" Sunny repeated.

Sally joined in. "Read! Read!"

"Read to them, Carmie." Isadora said in a flirtatious tone.

"Shut up, cakesniffer." Carmelita replied, glaring angrily at the female Quagmire. Though, everyone could see that she was blushing.

"Read!" Suzy also shouted.

"Alright, you annoying brats. I'll read."

The Baudelaires cheered as Carmelita took the book. She dragged her to a couch nearby, and forced her to sit down. Then, Duncan and Isadora helped lifting the girls up so they could sit beside her.

Carmelita was not enjoying this, but she sighed, and started to read.

" _My name is Lisa._ " she read, " _I'm a girl, but you can hear that on my name. I'm seven years old and will soon turn eight. Sometimes mom says-_ "

Carmelita suddenly closed the book.

"God, that was boring! You three have horrible taste!"

"Ehm." Sally said, which meant "To be fair, we can't read, and we only really looked at the cover."

"But Carmie." Isadora said, "You were so cute when you read to them."

"Call me 'Carmie' again and I'll crush you!"

Sunny huddled closer to Carmelita and hugged her arm.

"What are you doing, you brat?" Carmelita hissed.

"Huggies!" Sunny giggled.

"Who said you could touch me?"

Carmelita growled and pushed Sunny onto the floor.

"What are you doing?" Isadora yelled. "She's an infant! She can get injured!"

"M'fine." Sunny said, feeling for any bumps on her head.

"Why do you care?" Carmelita asked, standing up.

"How would you feel if someone just pushed you?"

Isadora pushed Carmelita to the ground.

"How did that feel? Did it feel good?"

"Isadora Quagmire!" a voice suddenly yelled.

Everyone turned around and saw Vice Principal Nero standing at the library door.

"Isadora pushed me!" Carmelita whined.

"I saw that!" Nero said, and walked up to Isadora. "Young man, you just earned yourself some time in detention!"

"She's a girl." Duncan said.

"Boy, girl, what do I care! You two look identical either way!"

"What do you want?" Isadora muttered.

"Vincipal Shero?" another voice said.

In came a man dressed in a turban, and gym clothes. No one recogonized him, besides the Baudelaire triplets. They started to growl.

"It's Vice Principal Nero." Nero said. "Now, Coach Genghis, is this the orphans you were looking for?"

Coach Genghis looked down at the Baudelaires and smiled widely.

"Yes, yes, yes... indeed."


	4. Gym teacher janitor

Sunny, Suzy and Sally continued to growl at his weird man, hoping they could hide the fear in their eyes. Because, last time they attacked, something not very pleasant occured. Sally's forehead starts to ache just thinking about it.

"I heard about these babies at this school. " Coach Genghis said, "Most of the time, they just roam around and do nothing, it seems."

"That's true." Nero said, "No student at this school gets late to class, so no one is babysitting them."

"Except for today-" Isadora said.

"Quiet, orphan twin! The adults are speaking. Do you want longer detention?"

"Lucky for all of you here I am an gym teacher." Coach Genghis continued as if nothing happened. "And I have a list of things the little girls can do so they don't slouch around."

"Wonderful!" Nero cheered, "Let me hear what you want them to do!"

Coach Genghis grinned. "Chores."

"Chores?" Nero asked.

"Chores indeed! They'll do all kinds of it! Polishing statues, cleaning floors, dusting off frames, doing the dishes..."

"Why should a coach teach out cleaning?" Duncan asked.

"Why should a coach teach out cleaning?" Nero mimicked, "Shut up, orphan boy!"

Coach Genghis looked like he didn't know what to do.

"Because..." he said, "I am also a...janitor..."

"Nogood." Sally said, which meant "That was a terrible lie. Admit it, couldn't find a janitor disguise so you had to take this."

"Nogood." Nero mimicked, "I don't know what that means, but it sounds terrible. Maybe Coach Genghis can teach you some proper speaking, too!"

"We will start tonight." Coach Genghis explained, "Do not be late!"

He and Nero walked out.

"Clock!" Sunny protested, which meant "He didn't even say what time!"

Duncan and Isadora walked up to the Baudelaires. 

"Did you know who that man was since before?" Duncan asked. "You seemed like you had something against him."

The girls looked at each other and exhanged nods.

"Olaf." Sunny said. She didn't have to say anything more.

"That man was Olaf?" Isadora asked.

"Yup." Sally said. "Disguise."

"He's in a disguise?"

"The babies are full of shit!" Carmelita suddenly said.

Everyone turned around.

"Oh, hi, Carmie." Isadora said. "I forgot you were still here.

"Babies lie all the time." Carmelita said, ignoring Isadora. "That wasn't any Olaf guy, they are just making things up."

"They growled at him." Duncan said.

"So what?"

"You don't growl at anyone usually, now do you?"

"Well." Isadora said, "I'm off. I have detention because I pushed someone to show them not to push other people!"

Carmelita pouted as Isadora walked by her.

"Good luck tonight, Baudelaires." Isadora said.

  
It was starting to get dark, so the Baudelaire triplets figured they were going to meet with Count Olaf now. Duncan promised them to try to sit close to the entrance at Nero's recidal, which he also told Isadora when she got back from detention. The Quagmires wanted to help, but the Baudelaires knew they had to face this frightful man alone.

"There you are." Olaf said, "I almost didn't see you because of your small size."

"Pissoff." Sunny mumbled. 

"Are you ready to do some chores?"

The Baudelaires didn't reply.

"Stupid babies." he continued, "Well... your first chore to do is cutting the grass over there."

He pointed a small pit of grass not far from them.

"Thassit?" Sally asked.

"Yes, that's it. For today, orphans."

The Baudelaires crawled over to the grass pit, thinking they would get a lawnmover or something.

"Oh, I forgot to mention." Olaf said, "You're going to use your hands to cut it. Only your hands. No biting."

Suzy, who just had considered biting since she didn't see a lawnmover, didn't know what to do now.

"Only. Your. Hands." Olaf said. "Every grass straw should be the same lenght."

"Protes?" Sunny asked, which meant "What if we refuse?"

"I have no idea what you're saying. Get to work!"

Olaf then was silent and stared at them.

"I said get to work!" Olaf screamed.

  
Startled, the girls started to slowly cut the grass with their hands. Every now and then, Olaf yelled at them that they cut it poorly, or that they missed some grass straws.  
This went on for several hours. When the violin recidal was over, they still had some grass straws left to cut with their tiny hands. Duncan and Isadora walked out.

"Uh... what are you doing?" Duncan asked.

"The question is what you two are doing here!" Olaf growled. "Go back to your dorms!"

"But Ola-" Isadora said, before correcting herself. "Coach Genghis. The Baudelaires need to sleep if they are going to do more chores tomorrow, don't you think?"

"They still have to finish up cutting the grass." Olaf muttered. "With their hands."

"With their hands?" Duncan asked worringly.

"Yes, with their hands! Why do you even care about them, brat?"

Duncan and Isadora looked vaguely disappointed at the man in front of them. Then, Isadora bent down and ripped up the last row of grass straws on the small grass pit.

"There." she said. "It's done. Come on, girls."

She and Duncan lifted up Sally and Sunny, while Suzy rode on Isadora's back.

"Good night, Coach Genghis!" Isadora called, before going back to the dorms.

Olaf glared angrily at them. He was thinking. Those children... were they always protecting the Baudelaires? In that case... how could he get rid of them?

  
"Danger." Suzy said when they reached the dorms. She meant "You should'nt have done that, Olaf is a dangerous man and he can kill you for this."

"Danke!" Sally shrieked, which meant "But thank you for getting us out of there!"

"He was probably going to make you work all night if we hadn't come." Duncan said. "We will look out for him, okay?"

"Classes." Sunny noted, which meant "But you have to go to school every day before lunch."

"But if you aren't at lunch, we will search everywhere for you." Isadora said. "Don't worry Baudelaires, don't feel disgrace, the Quagmire triplets are on the case."

The Baudelaires smiled at her. 

"Nother?" Sunny asked, which meant "Can you recite another poem for us?"

"Of course." Isadora said. "Let's get you into your sleepingwear."

  
The Baudelaires felt safe around the Quagmires. Even though they wanted to be as independent as possible, sometimes it felt nice to have someone who could take care of them a bit. The Quagmires had started to become their unofficial older siblings now, and the girls didn't know what they would do if something happened to them. So, as Duncan was helping Sunny put on her pyjama shirt, and Isadora was lifting Sally closer to her, and later both Quagmires helped Suzy, who had fallen asleep in Duncan's lap, to her mattress to tuck her in, all three Baudelaires felt calm and safe. They almost forgot that tomorrow would be a hard day. The next day would even be harder than it ever had before.


	5. A kidnapping is happening

The next day started as usual. The Baudelaires waved off the Quagmires who were heading to class. They very nervous to meet Count Olaf, who was in disguise as a gym teacher. He was probably pretty pissed because of what happened yesterday with the Quagmires.  
They met him in the kitchen.

"Well, there you are." he said. "Today it'll be chores for you all day long..."

"Fun." Sunny said sarcastically.

"You will start with helping the lunchladies with the food. You have to be extremly helpful, because these ladies are not here to babysit you."

The three Baudelaires smiled a bit. Not because they had to work in the kitchen, but because they always have had an interest in cooking. Perhaps they could help making the lunch?

They walked into the kitchen, where several lunchladies moved around like robots.

"Good'ay." Sunny greeted.

"Oh, you three are here." one of the lunchladies said. "Yes, uh... you can peel the potatoes. That seems easy enough for you."

The triplets nodded. They crawled onto the table where the potatoes were. Slowly they got themselves up on the chairs. Olaf hadn't said anything about how they could peel them, so the Baudelaires just smiled and used their teeth.

Quicker than ever, they had peeled every potato on the table. The lunchladies were impressed.

"Wow." one of them said, "You three are really helpful!"

The Baudelaires continued to help around. They fried some hotdogs in a pan. They polished some apples. They did a lot of things that made the cafeteria staff be very amazed. When they were done with all their chores, and Count Olaf was back, he expected to hear whines. Instead he was met by happiness.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked.

"Oh, they have every right to smile!" a lunchlady said, "They have been very helpful around here."

"Really?" Olaf frowned.

"Yes! I'm sure this lunch will be in a better quality than ever!"

"Ou' pleasue." Suzy said, which meant "Our pleasure."

Olaf was not pleased. He wanted to find a harder task for them to complete. The question was just... what.

  
The Baudelaires crawled their way over to lunch. As usual, the Quagmires were waiting for them.

"Howah?" Sunny asked as usual.

"Another tedious day in class." Isadora said.

"For me, too." Duncan said. "What did Olaf torture you with this morning?"

The girls smirked. Then, they told their friends about what they actually did.

"Really?" Isadora asked, "Is that why the food tastes so delicious today?"

"Yeah, what was Olaf thinking?" Duncan added, "You three are supreme chefs!"

The Baudelaires could see that the Quagmires spoke the truth. Sometimes people overexaggerate when they speak to infants, but the Quagmires meant this. They truly liked the food much more today.

  
Suddenly, Carmelita walked up to the table. She didn't skip forward, nor did she look pleased.

"What is it, Carmie?" Isadora asked. 

"Please, don't call me that..." Carmelita mumbled.

The Quagmires exchanged looks. Carmelita never ever said please.

"I just wanted to inform you..." Carmelita said, "Coach Genghis wants to see the Quagmires."

"Us?" Duncan asked.

"Yeah..."

Carmelita looked like she was a bit uncomfortable.

"Okay, then..." Isadora said, "... we will go to him. Come on, girls."

"No!" Carmelita said. "He wanted to see you all by himself."

"Are you his little messenger?" Isadora asked, "Just asking."

Carmelita didn't reply. 

"Carmie?" Isadora asked carefully.

"Come with me." Carmelita said.

The Quagmires looked a bit unsure, but followed their fellow classmate. The Baudelaires looked confused.

"Danger?" Suzy asked, which meant "What does Olaf want the Quagmires for?"

"Strange?" Sunny asked, which in this case meant "And why is Carmelita so uncomfortable?"

"Stalk!" Sally suggested.

The three of them slowly crawled away.

  
They weren't sure what direction Carmelita and the Quagmires went, so they had to follow their guts. Since the older kids could walk, they could get to places faster, and therefore could disappear before the Baudelaire triplets could get out of the room.

As they crawled out from the cafeteria, they heard two students walk by from the left.

"Carmelita hanging with those weird twins?" the first one said. "That's not something you see every day!"

"Between you and me..." the other one said, "I think Carmelita kind of likes one of them."

"Gut feeling." Sunny said, which meant "I don't know why, but I feel like they went over there."

Her sisters nodded and they headed left. 

  
They soon heard someone starting to yell.

"No!"

"Let go!"

"Voices?" Suzy asked, which meant "Is that the Quagmires?"

Her sisters shrugged. They decided to investigate.

Sunny was the one crawling first, but as she was about to turn around the corner of a building, she stopped tracks.

"Quepasa?" Sally asked.

"Schh..." Sunny hushed. She seemed like she wanted to hide.

Suzy and Sally peeked at what was behind the corner of the building. Their jaws dropped.

Duncan and Isadora were being held by the white-faced women from Olaf's theatre. They were kicking and grunting and wanted to make the women lose grips.

"Stop it!" Carmelita said, "You only said you wanted to talk to them! This isn't talking!"

"Oh, but we will talk." Olaf said. "Just as soon as I get these two to my car."

"No!" Duncan yelled.

"Get off them!" Carmelita protested. She ran up to Isadora to try to drag her away, but then Olaf grabbed her.

"Oh, I see you want to have a chat, too. Come on, then."

Olaf and the white-faced women dragged the three kicking and screaming children.

"No!" the three Baudelaires screamed. They started to crawl after them.

"Snails!" Sally whined, which meant "They are so much faster than us!"

Suzy tried to crawl faster to keep up. She just wanted to bite Olaf so he could stop his tracks. In the middle of her determination, she suddenly lifted herself up.

In a few seconds, Suzy was standing on her own two legs and slowly took her first steps ever. In normal cases when a child learns to walk, an adult is there to cheer them on and be ready to catch them if they fall. Right now, there was no adult there to cheer Suzy Baudelaire on. She only had her sisters, who jealously and proudly looked at her. She also had the Quagmires and Carmelita, who looked back and felt a bit happy that atleast someone in this school was trying to stop the vicious man from taking them to his car.

Olaf and the white-faced women pushed the children into the car.

"Drive!" Olaf screamed as soon as everyone was inside the car.

"Stop!" Sunny screamed.

Suzy, who just got the ability to walk, tried something new in her desperation of learning new skills. She tried to jump.

Suzy didn't jump far, but far enough for her to get her teeth onto the back on Olaf's car. Her sisters hesitantly grabbed her feet, and all three babies were dragged on the ground for a while, before Suzy managed to climb herself up, making her sisters get up, too.

The three of them now sat in the edge of their enemy's car, in hope to rescue their friends. How in the world would this end?


	6. A straight up kidnapping

Olaf drove for a long while. That wasn't weird, since Prufrock Prep lied in the middle of nowhere. But if you were a small toddler, it was hard to cling your tiny hands to the car. They tried to peek inside, but were afraid Olaf or any henchmen would see them. Though, a part of the Baudelaire triplets had a feeling that they already knew, and was just waiting for the perfect oppurtunity.

"Sore." Sally complained, which meant "My hands hurt from holding onto the car."

They were inside the town now, and a lot of people probably saw them clinging onto the car, but that could also be a good thing. It meant people kept watch and the Quagmires, and Carmelita Spats, could be rescued from Olaf's clutches earlier.

The car suddenly stopped at a parking spot.

"Hide!" Sunny shrieked. They jumped off the car and tried to find a place to hide.

This was good when you were so small as they were. You could much easier hide yourself. 

  
"Visible?" Suzy asked, which meant "Is is safe to hide under the car?"

  
Her sisters shrugged.

"Hero." Sunny said. This probably meant "I just want to attack Olaf and rescue our friends."

"Toss me." Sally reminded them. This was a reminder to her sisters about what happened last time they attack Olaf. Sally's bruise on her forehead had disappeard now, but she wasn't very fond of the idea of getting a new one. 

Suddenly the car doors opened. The Baudelaires got so panicked that they dashed under the car as fast as they could.

"Get off, brats!" some henchman yelled, "And don't try to run away. No one in this street will care, anyway."

  
The girls could see the feet of Isadora and Duncan, struggling to walk in the other direction.

"You won't get away with this!" Isadora growled.

"Help!" Duncan screamed, while someone covered his mouth.

"Oh, sweet Quagmire." Olaf said, "I already have. Come along, now."

"My parents will hear about this!" Carmelita protested. "They will know!"

Olaf grabbed her. "Oh, little Carmie..."

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not, your little friend here does it all the time!"   
He leaned closer to her. "And about your parents... do you honestly think they would care? I actually am on quite good terms with them, even if it was a while now."

  
They lead them into a building. As the last person walked in, the small Baudelaires crawled out.

"Follow!" Sunny concluded.

They slowly crawled towards the door to follow them. That's when something very unexpected happened.

  
"Jerome, look! Three little babies!"

"Oh my! All alone out here?"

  
The Baudelaires got blocked by a man and a woman who surrounded them.

"Where are your parents?" the man asked.

"Gone." Suzy revealed. She felt like she had no reason to lie to this stranger.

"Oh, they are gone, huh?" the woman said. "What are you doing here?"

The girls pointed at the inside out of the building, where they now didn't see anyone. Olaf was quick to slip away.

"What if they are orphans?" the woman asked.

"But what if they have parents who wait for them and are looking for them?" the man asked.

  
What the two adults didn't know was that the Baudelaires currently lived with a woman named Kit Snicket, who had to leave them at Prufrock for a thing she had to do. But she wasn't their legal guardian. Honestly she just picked them up one day and took them to her house. It's easy to do that with babies.

"Well, we should take them to our house." the woman suggested, "We will be known as heroes if we claim to have found missing children."

"Oh, Esmé..."

"It's a great idea, isn't it?"

"Well... I don't want to argue."

"Good! Now, let's grab these little babies."

The woman, who was named Esmé, lifted Sunny up without her consent. Sunny looked surpised, and confused.

"Hi!" Esmé said, "Yes, i'm holding you. I'm a stranger who is holding you, so please don't cry."

Sunny didn't cry, she was just confused.

"Jerome, grab the other two!" Esmé ordered.

The man who was named Jerome carefully picked up Suzy and Sally.

"We're going in there." Jerome explained, and pointed at the building where Olaf had taken the Quagmires and Carmelita. This made the triplets happy, because perhaps they would find their friends faster.

"The children are happy!" Esmé explained, "They like me!"

"If you say so, darling."

  
The adults carried the Baudelaires inside the building. The girls looked around, but couldn't find any trail of Olaf.

"I hope elevators are in soon again." Jerome muttered.

"Oh, walking the stairs aren't so bad?" Esmé shrugged. "Look at these children! They can't even walk! It must be exhausting for them to be carried up all the way!"

The Baudelaires smirked. These random people who technically kidnapped them seemed fun.

  
It was a long way up. Apparently these two lived on the top floor. The triplets wondered why the elevator was "out" and not inside as elevators use to be. 

  
When they finally were up, Jerome opened the door despite being the one who had to carry more babies. Inside was the largest corridor the babies had ever seen.

  
"These orphans seem to be impressed by our penthouse!" Esmé said.

"We don't know if they're orphans." Jerome replied.

"Tell me, babies. Are you orphans?"

  
The Baudelaires nodded.

"There we have our answer!" Esmé concluded.

"But... they are babies... they could've just not understood-"

"Jerome dear, don't treat them like idiots just because they are drooling and don't know how to take care of themselves in any way."

"Excus?" Sunny said, which meant "You're the one who treats us like idiots, young lady."

  
Suzy and Sally started to snicker. Esmé and Jerome stared at them.

"I don't know if secret language is in." Esmé admitted, "But orphans are in, and now I have three in my penthouse! Oh, i'm going to dress you up as my little dolls for the world to see!"

"And take care of their needs, I hope." Jerome said.

"Of course, you can do that, honey." Esmé said and put Sunny on the floor. "I'm going to prepare that nursery room we just have for whatever reason."

  
The Baudelaire girls shared a look. This was going to be interesting.


	7. No one is okay

The Baudelaires woke up, feeling more rested than usual. They thought these rich people were pretty weird, but gosh did they pamper the triplets a lot. They got to sleep on the nicest mattresses wearing very comfortable sleeping wear. 

"Good morning, orphans." Esmé said, walking into the room. "While you three were sleeping I bought something for you."

"Gifts?" Suzy asked.

"Yes, child. Gifts!"

  
The girls stood up in their cribs and glanced with hope over the bag that Esmé had brought in with her. 

However, their hopes died down when Esmé took out three matching pinstripe suits.

"It's very in with pinstripe suits at the moment!" she exclaimed, "And I measured you in your sleep so my personal designer could get these for you!"

"Ankyo?" Sally said. It was her way of saying "Thank you?"

"You're welcome, even if it's not in to not speak properly. Now, come out when you have changed your clothes."

As Esmé walked out, the triplets climbed their ways out of the cribs.

"Annie." Sunny said, which meant "I'm happy to get from an orphan to a rich kid."

"Ugly." Suzy complained, that in this case meant "Even if we are rich kids, I strongly dislike these pinstripe suits."

"Impress." Sally said. She meant something in the lines of "If it makes Esmé happy, I can wear it. Maybe she can help us if we satisfy her."

The young girls sighed and helped each other put on clothes.

They crawled out in the endless hallway, except for Suzy who tried to practise walking.

"Ah! Girls!" Jerome greeted them. "I see Esmé gave you some of those suits."

"Jerome." Sally said. This didn't mean anything, she just wanted to say his name.

"Yes, that's my name."

Sally smiled at him. Jerome grinned.

"You know, you're only been here for an evening and a night, but i'm growing quite fond of you three."

"Oh!" Suzy exclaimed, which meant "That's great, then you can help us to find our missing friends!"

"Silly." Sunny said, which meant "Sister, I don't think he can understand us."

"Oh, I love their little squabbles!" Esmé exclaimed, walking up to them. "Hey, i'm going to be very busy as i'm having a meeting with a man named Gunther later, and I don't know what you're doing, Jerome."

"I was going to get some info on the girls to see if they are really orphans." Jerome explained.

"Why, they are obviously orphans." Esmé muttered. "We don't even know their names."

  
The triplets shined up and told them their names.

"Sunny!"

"Suzy!"

"Sally!"

"Are those your names?" Jerome asked. They nodded.

"Oh, please." Esmé said, "They are babies. They don't know what they are nodding to."

"That's what I said yesterday."

"You didn't say anything yesterday, honey, shut up."

Esmé walked away and Jerome wasn't sure if he should've keep an eye on the girls or not. But he lead them to a room full of toys and said they could stay there as he was going to work. The room of toys was perfect if you were a normal toddler, but the Baudelaire triplets weren't normal. They needed toys to bite on. They couldn't bite these toys.

"Escape?" Suzy suggested.

"Detectives." Sally said. She meant "This penthouse is so big children easily can get lost. Maybe the Quagmires and Carmelita is here."

The triplets made their way out towards the big hallway. They were thinking of where to go next. They had no evidence their missing friends was in this Penthouse but through their baby logic, if their friends walked through the same door, they must automatically be in the same floor as them.

  
The following hour was just a compilation of the three children running around in the penthouse, searching every part of it. They crawled under all the tables, opened every drawer and closet, and tried to shout in case their friends were in a secret part of the room and only could only use their voices to be noticed.

But i'm sad to inform you the Quagmires and Carmelita weren't in the penthouse. However, they were in the building. Not just on a specific floor...

* * *

  
"Help!" Duncan shouted. "Can anyone hear us?"

"No one can hear us, cakesniffer." Carmelita muttered. "We are in the bottom of a dark pit. In a cage."

"Look on the bright side." Isadora shrugged, "They let us out every fifth hour to pee."

"Never trust an optimist." Carmelita said. Isadora pinched her on the arm. "Ow! Stop doing that!" 

"Then stop being so annoying."

"We are all annoyed." Duncan concluded, "But let's not fight with each other."

"I hate you two." Carmelita said.

"Yet you still tried to save us from Olaf's clutches." Isadora noted.

"Yeah, and how did that go?"

Isadora sighed. "You're brave, Carmelita."

  
Carmelita looked at Isadora, then at Duncan, and then at the floor. Then she started to cry.

Duncan and Isadora looked at her. They wanted to hug her, they really wanted to. But they weren't sure if she wanted that. Isadora decided to ask.

"Hey, Carm... is it okay if we hug you?"

"No." Carmelita replied sharply.

"...is it okay if I stroke your arm?"

Carmelita stared at her for a long time.

"...ok."

  
Isadora slowly stroked Carmelita's arm. Carmelita looked like she got a little happier.

But no one was okay. Not the Quagmires. Not Carmelita. Not the Baudelaires. No one was okay, and no one would be okay for a very long time.


	8. Ultimate betrayal

"Children, there you are!" Esmé said. She noticed the Baudelaires crawling around the hallway. "There's someone I like you to meet."

She opened a door and eagerly watched a man walk out. The man was dressed in a pinstripe suit just like the rest of them, and had sunglasses to hide his eyes.

"Hello!" he said, "I am Gunther, please."

"Olaf." Sunny said.

"No, please, I am Gunther."

"Olaf." Sunny insisted. Her sisters nodded.

"Esmé, these gremlins are calling me Olaf!"

"They are babies, don't mind them." Esmé shrugged.

"Babies who call me Olaf makes me please, uncomfortable." Gunther said. "I might maybe... what's the word, throw them into the wall if they do it again. Please."

The Baudelaires shivered.

"Well, me and Gunther have to work, I just wanted to introduce him to my orphans." Esmé explained, "Orphans are very in."

"I agree!" Gunter agreed. Then they walked out again.

  
"Fucking shit." Sally mumbled, which meant "We gotta get out of here as fast as possible."

"Run." Suzy agreed.

Suzy, who could walk, started to run away, while her sisters crawled as fast as they could after her.

  
They were out in the long staircase part of the building.

"Elev!" Sunny shrieked, which meant "We can take the elevator for it to go faster!"

The Baudelaires didn't really know what had meant with elevators being in and out, so they just assumed the elevators worked perfectly fine. They pressed the button of the elevator that was closed to them, but quickly noticed something was wrong. Just as the doors opened, the tripets saw that there were no elevator there whatsoever. It was just pitch black darkness.

  
"Yolo?" Sunny suggested. She in this case meant "Shall we jump down in the darkness?"

Her sisters shrugged.

"Olaf." Sally reminded them. This didn't really mean anything special. It was just a reminder to why they were even out here in the first place.

The three of them glanced down to the darkness, and then they glanced at each other.

"Jump?" Sunny asked, which meant "Are we ready to explore this deep darkness?"

Suzy took her hand, while grabbing Sally with her other hand.

"Quote." she said, which meant "If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives."

With that, the three little girls jumped themselves down into the empty dark elevator shaft.

They didn't fall for long. After just a few seconds of falling, they managed to grab onto the walls and use their teeth to ease their fall. There were small pieces of pipes on the walls, which were perfect for the triplets little baby hands. That meant they could slide down as if they were riding one of those attractions at an amusement park where you're lifted high up in the sky and then drop. Those attractions are not really my personal favorites, because I hate the feeling of not knowing which second they're going to drop you. But if the three Baudelaires thought they were sliding down too quickly, they would just use their teeth to make it go slower.

Finally, they reached the bottom of the elevator shaft.

"Free!" Sally giggled. Her sisters giggled too. But soon, they stopped, when they saw what... no, actually who, was at the bottom of the elevator shaft.

In a big cage sat Isadora and Duncan Quagmire, aswell as Carmelita Spats. Isadora and Carmelita sat curled up in a corner, while Duncan spotted the triplets.

"Baudelaires..." he whispered.

"You're here!" Duncan exclaimed, "Or am I dreaming?"

"In that case i'm dreaming the same thing." Isadora admitted. She reached out her hand from the cage, and Sunny slowly touched it.

"Baudelaires." Sally informed them.

  
Duncan seemed like he was crying.

"God, you're so sentimental." Carmelita said.

"Carm." Isadora said sternly.

Carmelita went silent. It was like Isadora had put her under a spell.

"You came for us..." Duncan whispered.

"Course." Suzy shrugged.

"Triplets." Sunny reminded them. This meant "Us triplets have to stick together, don't we?"

Duncan and Isadora smiled.

  
Sunny studied the lock. She wasn't sure she would be able to bite it. Suzy and Sally already started to bite on the cage.

They were chewing and nagging on the cage for a good while, but nothing happened.

"I don't think this would work, girls." Isadora sighed. "You would have to find another way to get us out."

"Lockpick!" Sunny said. She meant "There must be something in the penthouse we can use to get our friends out."

  
Sally looked at Sunny like she was crazy. "Up?"

Sunny nodded sadly. "Up."

"Wait, what's happening?" Carmelita asked.

"They have to go up again to get something to pick the lock with." Duncan explained.

"But that also means they have to encounter people they don't want to meet." Isadora added.

"You got that with such few words?"

"Yeah." Isadora said. "You should get to know them, Carm. They are really something else."

The triplets slowly grabbed the small pipes and tried to see if they could climb up again. They could.

Sunny turned back to her friends, and uttered the longest sentence she had said up to that point.

"We'll be back."

The three Baudelaires climbed up. The further they got up, the less they saw of their friends in the cage. They felt a bit of anxiety as they were closer to the top. It was like the danger was closer the further up they got. They would much rather stay in the deep darkness pit with their friends than to go up where there was light.

They finally reached the top. As the last Baudelaire climbed up, they were nervously looking at the front door to the Squalor penthouse.

"Neglecting." Sally shrugged, which meant "The fact that we even could get out here without them seeing us says a lot about what kind of people the Squalors are."

"Eh." Suzy replied, which meant "In this case, that's good."

Just as she said this, someone opened the front door.

"Oh, there you are!" Esmé exclaimed. "I was wondering where my little orphans ran off." 

"Why are they out here next to the elevator?" Jerome asked, concerned. "Imagine if they would open the elevator doors and fall down! That would be awful!"

  
Esmé suddenly smirked.

"Are you girls curious what's behind the elevator doors?"

The Baudelaires didn't react. They knew what was behind the elevator doors, but Esmé didn't know they did. But instead of waiting for an answer, she just pressed the button, making the doors open.

"As you see, it's nothing behind it." Esmé said, "Elevators aren't in."

"You should probably close it." Jerome warned her. "You know, so no accidents happen?"

"Oh, what kind of accidents do you mean, honey?" Esmé asked. She lifted Sunny up. "Would... this maybe be an accident?"

Before anyone could say anything, Esmé dropped Sunny down the elevator shaft.

"Gah!" Jerome gasped. "You-"

"What?" Esmé said casually, and proceeded to throw Suzy down the elevator shaft.

Jerome just looked horrified, as Esmé gave Sally, who was too shocked to defend herself, a push so she fell down aswell.

"You just killed them!" Jerome cried, "You...!"

"So what?" Esmé said, "I grew bored of them."

She then just left Jerome as she ran down the stairs.

"By the way, I want a divorce!" she yelled on the way down.

  
I'm happy to say that the young Baudelaires did not die. But I am not happy to say that what happened to them was... not so pleasant either.

Sunny, Suzy and Sally were grasping for air. They were shocked, and didn't know what had just happened. All they knew was that they didn't die. Or did they? No, they were alive.

"Is it all three?" some voice asked.

"Yeah. Quick, tie it before they can escape!" some other voice replied.

Before they knew it, the Baudelaire girls felt like the space they were lying on got smaller and smaller. 

If they weren't scared already, they definetly were now, because the voice of the bald man was heard in the dark.

"Boss! We got them! We'll meet you in the car in 5!"


	9. Daring escapes

"Hepp!" Sunny screamed, which was her way of screaming "Help!"

Sadly, no one heard her. Or people did, but just ignored her.

The three Baudelaires were in a sack, or folded blanket, or what the heck it was. They were confused and scared.

"Boss, where should we put them?" the bald man asked.

"As far off from the twins and wannabe Stephanie as possible." the voice of Olaf replied. "Otherwise they can teamwork up and escape."

The triplets tumbled around as someone almost threw them down somewhere in what they presumed was a car.

"You missed my glorious scene." a familiar voice said. "I threw all three little gremlins down the shaft. My husband thought I killed them!"

"Good, then he won't look for them."

"You're very in, Olaf. Not only did I give you three of my orphans, but you already have three orphans kidnapped by yourself."

"I am not an orphan!" That was the voice of Carmelita Spats.

"Well, considering how your parents barely have noticed your absence in school, you might aswell be." Olaf replied.

There was a silence.

"Esmé." Sunny mumbled. This meant "I think the woman calling orphans 'in' is none other than Esmé Squalor."

"Squalor two." Suzy said, which meant "Perhaps Jerome can save us, if he isn't also secretly evil."

"I divorced Jerome on the spot." they heard Esmé say. "But we need to scram. I'm pretty sure he called the cops."

Barely a minute later, the triplets heard an engine start, and they realised that they were in a car. They didn't know where they would go. It would be better if they were with their friends, but the Quagmires and Carmelita were purposely separated from them.

While the triplets were trapped in a sack, Duncan, Isadora and Carmelita had gotten out of their cage, but had instead been squeezed inside a thing that looked like a red herring.

"Which one of you cakesniffers is holding my hand?"  
I don't need to tell you who said that.

"Me." Isadora replied. She didn't remove her hand from Carmelita's, nor said "sorry" or anything.

"It's an uncomfortably close space." Duncan admitted, "But I must give Olaf credit for even coming up with an idea like this. No one would suspect a red herring."

"What if we're never getting out of here." Carmelita said, "I have a family! You don't!"

Isadora suddenly released her hand from Carmelita's. "What do you mean? We do have one."

"Really? Where?"

"Well, just because the rest of our family is dead doesn't mean we suddenly don't have one." Isadora explained. "Me and Duncan are a family."

"The Baudelaire triplets are a family." Duncan said.

"Well, I have a real family!" Carmelita said. "I have parents. Living parents."

"Parents who just leave you in the most shitty boarding school that exists." Duncan noted.

"Parents who don't bother to look for you when you're kidnapped." Isadora added.

"Maybe they don't know that i'm kidnapped!" Carmelita tried.

"Sweetie, there's a manhunt after Olaf." Isadora said. "They know."

"There's also like, a manhunt after the Baudelaires?" Duncan said, "It has been that since before they came to Prufrock. I don't know what exactly those three toddlers have accomplished, but it's a miracle they have gotten this far."

"It won't surprise me if they manage to save us, too." Isadora said with pride. "A family is not always the people who's related to you, you know. I'd consider the Baudelaires as a bit of our family... even if they are more or less independent on their own."

Duncan smiled as she said this.

"Why would you consider them family?" Carmelita asked. "They are random babies you have known for some week or two."

"Well, they were alone at school with no one who wanted to talk to them. We were alone at school with no one who wanted to talk to us. They were orphans. We were orphans. We could connect with each other. And we took care of each other. They took care of us and we took care of them. I'd consider them my family."

"That sounds weird." Carmelita said.

"Let it sound weird, then."

They were silent for a while, when Duncan took a deep breath.

"Isadora." he said, "If we don't come out of here, I... I want to tell you something."

"Ooh, are we spilling secrets?" Carmelita whispered.

"Ignore her." Isadora snickered. "Tell me, brother."

"Well..." Duncan said, "I had imagined to say this in a perfect place, but considering our circumstances there will never be a perfect time."

  
Isadora smirked. She had an idea what he was about to say.

"So what I want to say is..." Duncan said slowly, "I want to... i'm...uh-"

"Take your time." Isadora comforted him.

"I'm gay."

Isadora only laughed at this.

"What is it?" Duncan asked. "What's so funny?"

"Brother..." Isadora giggled, "I'm gay, too."

"What?"

"Wasgay?"

The last word was uttered by someone from the outside. It was the voice of Suzy Baudelaire, who simply asked what the word gay meant.

"Baudelaires?" Duncan shouted.

  
While the Quagmires and Carmelita were talking, our main characters, the Baudelaire sisters, had bitten their way through the sack they were lying in. They noticed they were in the back of a van or something. Luckily, no one was around to watch them. But it meant they could hear everything that was said into the red herring where their friends were.

"Wasgay?" Suzy asked again.

"Friendos!" Sunny shrieked, which meant "We can hear you, and we want to help you get out of the trap you're in."

"Baudelaires!" Isadora yelled.

"Isa!" the Baudelaires yelled back.

"Are you okay?" Duncan asked.

"Reverse?" Sally asked, which meant "The question is, are you okay?"

"We're trapped in this red herring, so no, we are not okay." Isadora replied.

The Baudelaire girls looked at each other and nodded. Within a second, they had their teeth on the red herring, trying to bite through it.

"What are they doing?" Carmelita asked.

"I think they are trying to bite a hole." Isadora explained.

"Oh, but they just need to pull it open." Duncan said. "Remember? You just had to push-"

"Hey cakesniffers!" Carmelita shouted, "You just need to push! Not bite!"

  
Sunny, Suzy and Sally all three stopped biting. 

"Push?" Sunny asked.

"Yeah, push!" Duncan said. "You see there's like a handle on the fish? Push that one aside."

"Can't reach." Sally said sadly.

But Suzy smirked. She was the only one of the sisters who could walk as of know, and she really could show it right now. She stood up and got her tiny hands on the handle above her. Sure, she was still pretty short even when she stood up, but she could reach atleast a bit of it. 

"Hold." she said, gesturing to her sisters. She wanted them to help her push.

The weight of three babies pushing a handle does not lead to much, but I am happy to inform that the red herring statue did open just a tiny bit, which lead to the children inside to use their own strenght to push it wider.

Duncan, Isadora and Carmelita slowly stepped out. Duncan looked like he was about to cry when he saw the Baudelaires again. He ran up and lifted all three of them up in a giant hug.

"Oh my god, you guys are amazing!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah yeah, they are superbabies." Carmelita muttered, "But guys, we gotta like... get out of here."

Isadora grabbed Carmelita's hand. "You know what? You're right. Anyone have a plan?"

Carmelita looked like she didn't really want Isadora to hold her hand, but at the same time she seemed to like it.

"Van." Sunny explained, which meant "We are currently in a van, and Olaf's crew is just on the other side."

"Then we'll just open the back door and jump out." Isadora shrugged.

Right as she said that, they noticed the van was no longer moving. If the van was no longer moving, it meant that soon enough Olaf's troupe would open the back door and notice them.

"Fuck!" Isadora exclaimed. She ran towards the red herring and closed it. "Uh... hide! Everyone, hide!"

She picked up Sunny and Sally and ran to behind a bunch of boxes that just lied there. Duncan panicked and dashed behind a curtain. Suzy hesitantly threw random items into the sack she and her sisters had bitten out of, to make it look like they still were there. Then, she joined Carmelita behind a costume box.

  
They were waiting for maybe 2 minutes, when someone opened the door.

"I'm so glad we blocked all the sound from the back." Olaf said, "Otherwise I would've heard screaming all the time." 

"The kids seem awfully quiet now." the hook-handed man said, sounding oddly concerned.

"Well, they probably realised no one can help them. Come on, get them out of here."

Isadora glanced at Olaf's henchmen, who now were surrounding the red herring. She was afraid they would open it right there and then. Though, to her relief, they instead started to carry it away, commenting how it felt easier to carry this time.

The Baudelaires glanced at the sack, which the bald man now slowly lifted up. He didn't look inside, and only commented how it seemed to be just as heavy as before. That meant the random stuff Suzy had stuffed the sack with had worked. It fooled atleast the person who was carrying it.

  
The children didn't find it safe to come out until atleast four minutes had passed. That meant wherever they had gone, they had gone atleast a bit further away. Duncan still decided to peek through a window.

"Okay, we are in the middle of nowhere..." he said, "And... Olaf's troupe is nowhere to be seen."

"But they wouldn't just leave their van in the middle of nowhere?" Carmelita noted.

"Who said it's their van?" Isadora asked. "Bauds, what do you think?"

  
The sisters thought for a while, before agreeing.

"Go out." Sally said.

  
Slowly, they opened the door and carefully looked around. Olaf and his crew could be anywhere. As they all walked out, Isadora closed the door again so no one would suspect it. 

"Where should we go?" Carmelita asked.

"The opposite direction of where they are going." Isadora concluded.

"And where the fuck did they go?"

"Fuck." Sunny giggled. She liked that word.

Sally scanned the area. That didn't help at all.

"Well, we can't just stay here." Duncan said. "We gotta go. Fast."

All of a sudden, a taxi pulled up to them. The kids tried to hide a bit, in case it was someone they didn't want to meet. Though, the Baudelaires recogonized the taxi... they had ridden in one before, not too long ago.

"Kit!" Sunny shriked, crawling up to it.

"Sunny, no..." Isadora mumbled.

  
The taxi window slowly went down. Behind the window was not Kit, who Sunny had hoped. Instead, it was a man, who actually did resemble Kit a bit.

"Hello." the man said. He looked at Sunny. "Did you say the name Kit?"

"Uh-uh..." Sunny replied.

"Kit Snicket is my sister." the man explained. "I am Jacques. Jacques Snicket. Do you kids need some help?"

"How can we trust you?" Carmelita asked.

"You can't." Jacques answered casually.

"He did say Snicket after Kit..." Duncan said, "...and Sunny only said Kit and nothing else. Atleast he knows her."

"Twin." Suzy noted, which meant "He looks like Kit Snicket in a way, too."

"I know you kids are kidnapped." Jacques said. "Do you want to get away from Olaf?"

"Yes, please." Duncan said.

"Then, get into my car."


	10. Jacques tells the children some stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaire triplets Sunny, Suzy (movie-Sunny) and Sally (netflix-Sunny) recently tried to rescue their kidnapped friends. Unfortunately, Count Olaf managed to kidnap them too and were now keeping them all in a van. Fortunately, all children managed to escape and were now picked up by a certain taxi driver...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN A WHILE HASN'T IT?  
> I feel like you had to have a summary since it was a very long while ago.

A wise person would never, ever get into a strangers car just like that. But Jacues Snicket was a taxi driver, and that's their job. He also proved himself to know someone the Baudelaires knew without them asking. So, the babies wanted to trust him. The older kids of course were unsure, but they admitted they wanted to get away from Olaf as far as possible. And Jacques was alone, so if he tried to kidnap this many kids, they could easily throw him over.

"Olaf did the classic 'steal a van and then leave it in the middle of nowhere so no one knows he took it' trick." Jacques said. "He does it all the time."

"You know him?" Duncan asked.

"Yes."

"Pity." Suzy said.

"No, we used to be friends." Jacques explained. "He used to be friendly, but something happened."

"Please say we're not following him..." Carmelita said nervously.

"Oh no." Jacques calmed her. "I was only here because I knew he kidnapped some kids. I did see him and his troupe through my spyglass. They were carrying a red herring and a sack that obviously had holes in it. I figured the kidnapped kids must've escaped without them noticing, so I decided to find them."

"Spy?" Sunny asked.

"Yeah, you could say i'm a spy. But right now I am a taxi driver who will take you away to a place you can stay for a while, because that place would probably be the last place Olaf would look for you."

"Ok?" Isadora mumbled. This was very weird.

Jacques smiled at the triplets in the backseat (the Baudelaire triplets, not the Quagmires). They were sitting in the laps of their friends.

"Kit has mentioned you." he said. "And when we head to our destination, I will try to get in contact with her. She still thinks you're at Prufrock for all that I know!"

"Fake." Sunny said, which meant "And the authorities still think we live with Montgomery Montgomery."

Jacques snickered. "Yeah, I heard about Jacquelyn and her driving you away from there."

"Who's Jacquelyn?" Isadora asked. "I barely know who Kit is."

"How can you instantly understand everything they shriek?" Carmelita asked.

"I'm scared." Duncan admitted.

"Don't be." Jacques said. "You see, I used to know all of you children's parents. We practically grew up together."

"Really?" Carmelita asked, "How was my parents as kids?"

"Pretty boring, to be honest."

"And ours?" Isadora asked.

"Your parents were insepperable from an early age. I remember barely being the age of six. I was out on the yard in my training school, helping a boy named Larry to make food out of bugs. Suddenly, we hear a shriek and out comes a teacher of ours. He is all red in the face, and faints on the ground. Then... your parents, Quagmires, comes out. Your mother was holding a lion cub in her arms and your dad held a regular dart, which he had painted like a poison dart. Seeing how they prank worked, they high-fived and ran off into the woods, even though we weren't allowed to leave the school."

Isadora snickered. "A lion cub? How did they even-"

"Oh, we train a lot of animals. They can really help on detective work. Your parents were real rulebreakers, Quagmires. We all looked up to them. They ran into fire instead of away. Literally. Both of them were great kissers, too."

"Wait." Duncan said, "What? You kissed our parents?"

"Both of them?" Isadora asked.

"Yes. Of course, I have had better kisses but they were in my top 13."

"Jeesh, how many people have you kissed?"

"The list is very long... Olaf was actually pretty good too, but gosh did he have a horrible breath!"

The kids exchanged questionable looks.

"Ours?" Sally asked, which meant "How about our parents?"

"Oh, that's a story." Jacques said, shaking his head. "Your mother was... enchanting. She seduced everyone with her charm and passion... and skill for training bats. Your father... oh, he was no less. He was the kindest man I have ever met..."

"Why are you describing everyone besides Carmelita's parents as if you dated them or something?" Isadora asked.

"Because, Isadora Quagmire. I dated all the people I mentioned. Even Carmelita's parents, but only for some days. They were quite boring, as I mentioned."

"Glee cast?" Sally smirked. She meant "Did everyone just get around with each other in your group?"

"Why yes. We all played around. Those were wild times."

  
The kids were silent now. They had more questions, but they didn't know how to ask them. They looked outside and it seemed like they were near a village of some kind.

"Kids." Jacques said, "Welcome to the village of fowl devotees."

"Should I say thank you or just stay silent?" Isadora asked. No one replied to her.

They walked out of the car, and looked around.

"License?" Sally asked, which meant "Is it smart to park your car here?"

"Well, taxi's are not really recogonizable, are they?" Jacques pointed out. The kids shrugged. 

They walked around the place. It was a pretty quiet village. No one was outside except them. The only other living creatures were a murder of crows, watching them like security cameras. The kids were actually kind of impressed with how many crows there was.

"What are we doing here?" Duncan asked.

"This is a safe place." Jacques explained.

"But what are we doing at a safe space?" Carmelita asked.

"Being safe, of course." 

"Mysterious." Sally pointed out. She meant something in the lines of "You won't tell us a lot, won't you?"

"You don't have to trust me if you don't want to." Jacques said, "But I will assure you that Olaf won't come here. He never liked this village. It's very... old-fashioned."

"Old fashioned how?" Duncan asked.

"Well, let's just say it has a lot of rules. Rules that Olaf definitely breaks."

The kids nodded. They followed Jacques around, staying close to each other. Isadora and Duncan carried the triplets so they wouldn't get too far behind. Carmelita noticed the Quagmires and the Baudelaires. They had a connection that she didn't have. Both the Quagmires and the Baudelaires were orphans. Both of them were also triplets, even if the Quagmires were twins now, or something... but what was she? Just a girl who bullied them, and then got kidnapped with them so now she's sort of allies with them. Nothing more than that? What Carmelita wanted was really just to get home. Whatever home was anymore...

"Here we are!" Jacques exclaimed. They had been walking for a long while. Now they were standing outside a small house next to a pretty large barn.

"Are we gonna hide here?" Isadora asked.

"Kind of. Kind of not."

"Prepare." Sunny said, which meant "If this is a trap and Count Olaf is in there to kidnap us again then we will attack."

Jacques didn't acknowlegde her and instead knocked on the door. 

"Yes...?" someone from the inside replied.

"The world is quiet here." Jacques said. Suddenly, the door opened. In front of them were a man dressed like a common farmer or perhaps mechanical for an 19th century village. The Baudelaire triplets still didn't quite understand time and space yet, and so they were almost convinced they had travelled in time.

"Jacques!" the man exclaimed. "I knew I recogonized your voice. I see you have brought children to my house. I guess you need my help?"

"Sort of." Jacques said. "May we come in?"

"Always."

  
The house was small, but it seemed to be pretty cozy. The man seemed to cover the window a bit. Not too much to make any suspicion, but just a little bit so it was harder to see if anyone was inside.   
"Hello, kids." he said slowly. "I'm Hector. I know Jacques here. Who are you?"

"I'm Isadora Quagmire." Isadora explained. "This is my brother Duncan, and these three girls here are the Baudelaire triplets. Maybe you've heard of them."

Hector nodded. "I have. I have also heard about you. The Quagmire triplets. Although now there's only two of you."

"And this girl with the pretty locks is Carmelita Spats." Isadora explained. Carmelita seemed to form a tiny smile as she got to hear about her locks.

"Olaf is not close, is he?" Hector asked.

"I'm afraid I can't say." Jacques admitted. "I picked the kids up in my taxi, after Olaf had left them alone in a van he stole."

"Are you hurt?" Hector asked the children and seemed to be scanning them for bruises.

"Mentally, very much." Duncan said.

"Forehead." Sally sighed, remembering the horrible time Count Olaf threw her across the room while she and her sisters had spent an unpleasant time at his house.

"We're never safe with people like him around." Hector sighed. "I prefer to lay low. If you lay low, then less things happen to you."

"That is true." Jacques said. "That's why I took them to you. So we can be quiet in this world... for a bit."

"It's hard laying low when you just escaped a kidnapper by following a stranger in a taxi." Carmelita said. "There's just... too much adrenaline running through you."

"I think Olaf eventually will get here if he's already on the road." Hector said. "I have been working on an escape vehicle. If you could call it a vehicle... it's more of a house. A floating house... but I have to run some tests."

"I'm gonna try to get them to a space Olaf has already been in." Jacques explained. "He rarely goes back where he as already searched." He turned to the kids. "I'm gonna contact my sister, and then i'm gonna take all of you to the former house of Montgomery Montgomery. No one will look there, and there might be a surprise for you there."

Hector looked very uncomfortable. "Jacques, I don't think that's gonna work..."

"What do you mean?"

Hector dug out a copy of the Daily Punctulio he had intended to throw in the fireplace. While looking sadly down at the floor, he handed the copy to Jacques.

**_Reptile house in flames!_ **   
_The house of the famous herpetologist Montgomery Montgomery (not a typo) has recently burned down. The man, along with the Baudelaire children who was lastly reported under his care, has not been seen at all. In fact, authorities claim to not have found any body or even a trace of a human living there. All they could find were countless cans of pickles and pinapples._

"The house burned down..." Jacques said. "And they didn't find anyone?"

"No." Hector shrugged.

"Secret?" Sunny asked, which in this case meant "Was there anyone in the house who we don't know about?"

"Well..." Jacques said. "I said I had a surprise there... I hope he got out..."

Hector put a hand on him. "If they didn't find a body or even a trace, then he probably did."

"Who?" Isadora asked.

Jacques and Hector stared at her, unsure of what to say.

"Let's just say..." Jacques said, "...it's someone who is probably looking for you and Duncan right now. With good intentions..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took so long because I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue this series. It just wasn't fun writing. But I had this chapter halfway done on my docs and I just told myself to atleast finish this chapter. Now when I have finished it, i'm in the flow and may continue. Or not. We will just see how this is recieved, and how much inspiration I have.


End file.
